Often we find (unhapppily) that a template for action, that our ‘mind system’ deems useful in real time, is indeed not unlike templates for action that frequently arose to serve one or another of our parents.

There is a relatively quick fix for this (2-3 months given active effort by an individual). During the course of a few weeks one can tease out and ‘code’ patterns characteristic of an ‘other’ found to be in play within one’s ’self’.

1. Educate the client about the normal pattern recognition function of the brain.
2. Help them appreciate the extraordinary usefulness of this brain function.
3. Encourage ‘conscious coding’. All thoughts, chuckles, frowns, etc. that they themselves experience, but that they associate with a parent, are to be coded ‘Peter thoughts’ (assuming a father named Peter) or ‘Virginia thoughts’ (assuming a mother named Virginia).
4. Folks should err in the direction of coding too many thoughts as ‘Peter’ thoughts or ‘Virginia thoughts’. The system will self correct.
5. It is important that parents names be used for coding. (coding as ‘Mom’ thoughts or ‘Dad’ thoughts carries too much iconographic power.
6. Encourage folks to attempt treat the ‘Peter’ or ‘Virginia thoughts’ with emotional neutrality; as if the thoughts were ‘children playing peek-a-boo’, now you see them, now you don’t. The presence of the patterns of the parent within themselves could not have been avoided.  
7. Emotionally neutral or friendly coding of internal thought lines as ‘Peter’ thoughts or ‘Virginia thoughts’ is tantamount to coding them as ‘not me’ thoughts.
8. This withdrawal of identification with patterns, co-incidentally characteristic of one or another parent. reduces the likelihood templates for action  characteristic of the parent, will continue to emerge.
9. Interestingly, as folks are freed from identification with the pattern characteristic of one or another parent they report a more sympathetic understanding of their parents, constrained as they were by patterns derived from their own histories.